


Rural Urbanites

by Rosie2009



Series: Descendants Fanfiction [52]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies), Disney - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosie2009/pseuds/Rosie2009
Summary: Mal, Evie, Uma, Audrey, and Jane are revisiting the farm, this time bringing a furry addition to the group with them. Who knew that addition would end up causing more trouble than the girls got into last time? A sequel to "Urban Cowgirls" with Huma, Bal, Jaudrey, Jarlos, and family/friendship feels.
Relationships: Audrey Rose & Uma (Disney), Ben/Mal (Disney: Descendants), Evie & Audrey Rose (Disney), Evie & Jane & Mal & Audrey Rose & Uma (Disney), Evie & Jane (Disney: Descendants), Evie & Mal (Disney), Evie & Uma (Disney), Hades & Mal (Disney), Harry Hook/Uma, Jane & Audrey Rose (Disney: Descendants), Jane & Mal (Disney: Descendants), Jane & Uma (Disney: Descendants), Jane/Carlos de Vil, Jay/Audrey Rose (Disney), Mal & Audrey Rose (Disney), Mal & Uma (Disney)
Series: Descendants Fanfiction [52]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1252532
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	1. Takeoff

“Do you girls have your hats?!”

“Got them, E!”

“Do you girls have your boots?!”

“Got them, Evie!”

“Do you girls have the dog?!”

“Does the giant white thing running around the room give you your answer?”

“Just tell me, Uma.”

“Ugh… Yes, we got her, Blue!”

“Good,” Evie praised as she repositioned the cowgirl hat on her head while looking in the mirror carefully while the other girls hurried about the room and made final adjustments before getting ready to leave.

Once again, the group was headed out for another of their infamous trips. However, this one was unique in that they actually enjoyed the trip enough to return for another visit. Unlike their camping disaster…

They were all returning to the farm that they had spent about a week of their last Fall.

While Audrey had to be coaxed to go back, but for the most part, all of the girls were very excited to go and spend time with the elderly couple George and Anne that had been so kind to them during their time there. In fact, it was George and Anne’s idea for them to come back.

However, not only were the girls excited to meet the two farmers, but they were also enticed to come back as a result of their many crazy and sometimes fun memories that they so treasured. There was one particularly fond memory for Uma in that the farm was where she had gotten her dearest Great Pyrenees Jade.

At this moment, however, they were not having a good time. It was around noon, and the girls had somehow ended up oversleeping and somewhat missing their scheduled leaving time. And as a direct result of that, the girls were all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

“Wait!” Evie called suddenly, and they all froze, looking at the bluenette silently as they waited for her to speak.

“Do we have my Country Music Awesome Mix CD?” Evie questioned as she patted herself down before pulling out the CD with a grin. Audrey rolled her eyes and Mal chuckled fondly, and they were about to start out the door when Uma suddenly shouted.

“Wait!”

“What?” Evie asked worriedly as she gazed at the pirate.

“We forgot the earplugs!” Uma told them all, and Audrey couldn’t help but snicker. Mal smirked in enjoyment, and Jane looked at Evie sympathetically.

“Very funny. But we’ve got to go!” Evie proclaimed, practically shoving them out the door. Mal quickly fell into step along with Evie---primarily because Evie was dragging her--- and Mal’s somewhat shorter legs had to move fairly quickly to keep up with Evie’s longer ones. The other girls, however, came along at various speeds behind the best friend duo.

Audrey was a bit slowed because she was trying to look in her compact and check her makeup as well as her cowgirl hat’s position, and Jane was attempting to stay next to Audrey Uma held Jade’s leash tightly in her hands as Jade easily kept pace alongside the pirate, her large and powerful legs running along.

Jade had grown substantially since their time at the farm, and she didn’t look anything like the puppy that Uma had first picked up on that grassy lawn. However, she did still very much act like that silly, affectionate, devoted pup that she always had been.

They had thought that they should bring Jade with them because it didn’t feel right to leave her when they were going to the very place that they got Jade in the first place. Besides, Uma had insisted that Jade should see her birthplace. And, of course, Audrey had insisted that Jade was a dog and wouldn’t know her birthplace even if it came up and sniffed her butt. Which naturally sent them both into an argument.

“Y’know, it’s a dang good thing that we already piled Audrey’s junk in the leaning tower of Pizza that’s currently in the back of Elvira,” Uma acknowledged, referencing Evie’s new Jeep as they hurried down the hall. Audrey shot Uma a glare, and Evie couldn’t help but look a bit sad at the thought of the tragedy that had befallen Charlene. Mal squeezed Evie’s hand that was in hers as she noticed her sister was slowing down in her running, and at Mal’s reassurance, Evie smiled a bit and kept moving forward.

“I do not have junk! I have very important, necessary things!” Audrey corrected Uma huffily as she shut her compact in order to focus on the pirate more.

“Whatever. But either way, it’s a good thing,” Uma pointed out, and Mal nodded, looking back at Uma as Evie pulled her about.

“Yeah. Especially since the guys weren’t able to haul it to the car for us today,” Mal commented, and Audrey groaned.

“Ugh… I still don’t see why they couldn’t have waited on us. Couldn’t they have stayed to at least say goodbye?” Audrey asked, and Uma rolled her eyes.

“It _is_ a shame,” Jane agreed somewhat quietly.

“Aw, chill, Princess. We don’t need no boys to see us to the car. We’re strong and independent women,” Uma boasted, and Audrey huffed as they hurried down the stairs.

“Besides, Ben had to get to that meeting and Carlos was headed to nerd-con with some of the weirdos at school.”

“Yeah. And Jay had to get to some stupid Tourney game. I wish I was one of those college cheer girls. That way I could keep an eye on those other girls,” Audrey somewhat jealously commented as she growled under her breath.

“Where’re Harry and Gil?”

“It’s Saturday at noon. Where do you think they are?” Uma questioned sarcastically, and Audrey furrowed her brow as they rushed through the front doors.

“They’re still in bed?!” Audrey cried in surprise, and they headed down the steps.

“My boys like to sleep seriously late,” Uma pointed out.

“They’re almost as bad as Carlos and Jay usually are on Saturdays,” Evie pointed out with a slight chuckle as they approached Evie’s Jeep Elvira. Mal smirked at the thought of it, and wasted no time in getting into her side of the vehicle.

“Alright, we need to hurry. Uma, is there room for Jade in the back?” Evie questioned as she opened the driver’s seat of Elvira and popped the rear compartment of the Jeep.

Uma took in the sight of Audrey’s luggage piled high with only four bags of the other girl’s stuff in the back with a somewhat fitting space for Jade to get into. Uma looked down at Jade and the Great Pyrenees looked up at Uma. Uma almost wanted to laugh as she noticed Jade’s lip was slightly caught on her tooth, making her look less than impressed with the entire setup.

“I know, Jade, I know. It’s terrible, and we should’ve got Evie a Gladiator instead of a Renegade when ol’ Charlene flew to that junkyard in the sky,” Uma pointed out. Evie furrowed her brow, shooting Uma an odd glance.

“What’s a Gladiator?”

“Don’t tell her, or we’ll never hear the end of it,” Mal piped up as she looked back at Uma from her place in the passenger seat. Uma chuckled with a grin.

“Just your dream car, Blue. It’s a Jeep and a truck rolled into one,” Uma explained, and Mal groaned as she let her head fall back against the seat. Evie shot Mal a disapproving glance before looking at Uma with interest.

“That sounds really cool. I’m going to have to research it,”

“Oh, no,” Mal expressed wholeheartedly.

“You don’t need it, Evie,” Audrey dismissively proclaimed, waving her hand at Evie as she started to come around the vehicle and get into her spot in the middle of the backseat.

“Well, if you keep piling junk in my trunk,” Evie trailed off, and Mal snorted hard, grinning widely at her best friend. Evie grinned at Mal, keeping her head ducked so that Audrey couldn’t see her mirth at Audrey’s expense as she slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door after herself.

“How many times do I have to tell you people?! It’s not junk!” Audrey cried, and Uma snorted as she clicked her tongue and pulled on Jade’s leash to try to cue her to get into the Jeep. Jade placed her front paws in the back, but didn’t make any attempts to go any further.

“Go on, Jade. Get in,” Uma coaxed, but Jade just sniffed at the back of the vehicle. Uma groaned deeply, bending down and pushing at Jade’s behind as she tried to get the dog in the car.

“Dangit, Jade, help me out here! We’ve gotta go!” Uma told the dog, and Jade just allowed Uma to do all the work.

“Dadgum, girl, I know you don’t really like riding, but you always get into it when you hop in!” Uma proclaimed as she shoved at the Pyrenees’s rear end. Audrey turned in her seat as she watched the struggling pirate.

Uma was shoving at the dog’s behind and she finally managed to get Jade’s backside into the vehicle. Uma huffed and puffed as she looked up at Audrey and realized the princess was watching her.

“Thanks for the help,” Uma sarcastically expressed, and Audrey just shrugged, her expression emotionless. Uma then headed over to get in behind Evie.

As soon as the pirate got in and the girls were all buckled up, Evie cranked the vehicle easily. She looked to the girls with a slight smile as she started to roll forward.

“Wait! Wait a minute!” a male voice called loudly, the sound actually managing to carry inside the vehicle. Evie hit the brake pedal swiftly, and looked in her rearview mirror, craning her neck a bit to see behind her a bit better.

However, before they identified the guy that was obviously shouting at them, a tall form approached Mal’s window, knocking on it. To their surprise, it was Hades looking into the window at them, and Evie wasted no time in rolling down the window.

Mal grinned widely, and Evie could easily see that girlish enthusiasm as she reached through the window and hugged her dad’s neck tightly. The god immediately melted at his daughter’s touch, reciprocating her hug as well as he could with the one arm that could fit through the window.

Evie’s heart swelled at the adorableness of the moment. She knew how much it meant to Mal for her father to show that he cared about her.

“Man, am I glad I caught you guys,” Hades expressed as Mal released him, beaming widely. He then leaned down so that his forehead was resting on the top of the window and he could look in at the girls.

“I had no idea you were coming, Dad, or I would’ve told Evie to slow it down some,” Mal joked as she looked at Evie in a mix of fondness and teasing with her eyes sparkling. Evie narrowed her eyes playfully.

“I was trying to get us there on time,” Evie expressed to Mal, and Mal grinned widely, reaching over and squeezing Evie’s hand. Evie immediately reciprocated the gesture.

“That sure as heck ain’t happenin’,” Uma acknowledged with a hearty chuckle, and Evie’s flashed at Uma in slight disapproval. Audrey huffed, trying to suppress the slight smirk as a result of Uma’s comment. After all, she didn’t want to give Uma the wrong impression that the pink princess might have actually enjoyed something the pirate said.

“But I just wanted to see you girls off since the guys weren’t going to be here. I mean, I was coming anyway, regardless of your boy toys, but you know,” Hades explained, moving his hand in a slightly dismissive gesture. Mal grinned happily before kissing his cheek.

“Thank you, Dad. It does mean a lot,” Mal admitted, and he smiled softly at her.

“Thank you for coming to see us, Mr. Hades. It’s really sweet of you,” Jane piped up, and Hades furrowed his brow, looking back at the daughter of the Fairy Godmother in the back. Jane swallowed, shrinking back a little at his gaze.

“Just Hades. The Mister makes me sound old. I’m only about a million years old,” Hades informed her, and Jane’s eyes widened as she looked at Audrey and Uma in shock.

“Dang, Gramps! But I reckon that explains your inability to be cool at all and your desperate need to be,” Uma pointed out, and Hades narrowed his eyes.

“Look, Umbrella---”

“It’s Uma.”

“Whatever. One million years old is young for a god, you feel me?” he informed the pirate, pointing at her in irritation. Uma simply smirked in reply.

“Sure.”

“Good. Thank you, Umpire,” Hades expressed, and Uma raised an eyebrow sassily.

“Apparently one hundred years old is the cut off for hearing people correctly,” Uma commented, and Audrey couldn’t help but snort as she looked up from her phone. However, as Hades stared at the both of them, Audrey quickly removed all signs of enjoyment from her face.

Hades rolled his eyes before withdrawing from the window, straightening as he took Mal’s hand.

“Well, I guess I’d better let you girls go… You, um… Make sure to keep me updated on the goings-on, alright?” Hades asked Mal, and the faerie nodded wholeheartedly, squeezing his hand affectionately.

“I will, Dad,” Mal consented, and he nodded as he let her go, stepping back to give Evie room to drive away.

“I love you!” Mal called, and Hades smiled.

“I love you, too,” he replied, and Jade suddenly barked. Hades chuckled as he looked to the back of the vehicle.

“Keep that dog in line,” Hades told them, and Evie just laughed at him joyfully, but nodded all the same as they all waved goodbye to him, heading down the driveway.

But they all couldn’t help but groan when Evie popped in her country music CD. To their dread, Evie had added more country songs to it. But this time with much more Willie Nelson and Patsy Cline and more of those old artists they all hated so much.

“OH, NO!!! LET ME OUT!!!” Uma cried miserably, and Jade barked, almost as if she were emphasizing Uma’s words.

And as Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” began to play on the radio in low tones, they started off on their next adventure of fun and craziness.


	2. Arrival

“UMA!!! Get control of your mutt! It’s assaulting me again!” Audrey cried as Jade snuffled at Audrey’s face for what was the millionth time on this trip.

They had been driving for a long time, and they were all very thankful to see the beginnings of countryside around them instead of the look of the city.

Especially since Audrey had endlessly complained about Jade, and Evie had been playing her incessant country music that she seemed to have an endless supply of. And if she ever ran out, she just replayed her favorites on the list. Which, of course, were all of them.

“Why? She just loves your perfume! It smells like her bacon-scented dog food!” Uma proclaimed as she watched Audrey lean all the way over against Jane. Jane was just leaning against the door of the car, supporting her head with her hand as she quietly endured through Uma and Audrey’s nonsense.

“My perfume does not smell like bacon or dog food!!!” Audrey screeched in reply, and Uma grinned evilly.

“Must be your BO, then, Princess,” Uma pointed out with a laugh, and Audrey made a strained noise of offense as she tried to get away from the dog.

“Uma, you better make that thing get back where it came from or so help me---”

“Oh, fine. Chill out, Princess. Good grief,” Uma dismissively told Audrey as she pulled at Jade so that she was back in the rear compartment of the Jeep where she belonged.

Jade immediately whimpered, not liking how Uma had made her move back when the dog wanted to be in the middle of the people. Uma sympathetically looked at her dog.

“It’s alright, baby, I know how it feels being stuffed in the trunk like some worthless luggage,” Uma reassured the dog as she shot a disdainful glance at the other girls in the vehicle, referencing the times that she had to sit in the back of Evie’s old car Charlene’s rear compartment. Uma leaned back and kissing the Pyrenees on the nose. Jade happily moved forward and licked Uma’s nose in return, and Uma chuckled a bit, ruffling the white fluff around her ears.

“Excuse me, but I’ll have you know that my luggage is worth infinitely more than that dumb dog is plus this stupid car,” Audrey commented, and Evie gasped, looking at Audrey in the rearview mirror before looking at Mal offendedly. Mal just pursed her lips before reaching over and squeezing Evie’s arm comfortingly.

For her part, Uma glared at the pink princess as she wrapped an arm around her dog protectively.

“Don’t you call my Jadey-baby dumb. She’s smarter than you, that’s for dang sure,” Uma informed Audrey, scratching at Jade’s head. Jade, encouraged by Uma’s affectionate petting placed her paws on the back of the leather seating, and Uma grinned.

“You wanna come up here with the people where you belong, don’t you?” Uma chuckled, and Audrey held her hands up, trying to keep the dog away from her.

“Oh, ew! Gross! Jade, get back!” Audrey cried, but Jade didn’t listen, instead covering Audrey’s face in slobber as she licked her. Audrey squealed, leaning against Jane as she tried to escape the dog. Uma cackled in response, patting Jade affectionately. However, as soon as she realized Audrey had an enormous slime wad stuck in her hair that the princess obviously didn’t notice, she cracked up laughing even more.

Audrey narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out what was so funny and was about to ask. However, Evie sighed quietly, deciding that it would likely be best for her to put a stop to this nonsense before it got out of hand.

“Uma, don’t let that dog in my seat. Tessa’s going to have a hard enough time cleaning up Elvira’s back carpet as it is,” Evie expressed, patting the Jeep’s steering wheel, and Uma groaned as she begrudgingly pushed a bit at Jade’s chest, making her stay in the back. Jade whined a bit and laid her giant white head on the seat.

“I know,” Uma told the Pyrenees sweetly, stroking her head gently before turning to look at Evie.

“Now, hang on a sec… Your mechanic girl shouldn’t have no trouble vacuuming leather. It’s a really slick surface,” Uma commented, and Evie shook her head.

“I don’t want her nails poking into the seat or her slobber getting on the leather,” Evie clarified, and Uma groaned.

“Dang, Genevieve. That’s ridiculous. Have you even seen Jade?” Uma questioned.

“I see the giant spit wad in Audrey’s hair,” Evie calmly replied, not sarcastically or meanly but with an almost motherly tone. Audrey’s eyes widened as she reached up and felt her hair. She soon withdrew her hand, realizing her hand was covered in thick dog slobber.

“EWW!!!” Audrey squealed, trying to clean her hair of the dog spit and instead getting it on her hand. She rolled up her lip in disgust as she wiped her hand against her jeans furiously. To her immense horror, the slobber just smeared across her pants, mostly staying relatively thick.

Uma just rolled her eyes, about to say something about her dog not being disgusting before she noticed that her shoulder was wet. She narrowed her eyes before looking down at it. She quickly realized that Jade had dampened it with her currently slightly dripping jowls. Uma sighed deeply, realizing that Evie had won this round.

“Hey, guys, I think we’re close!” Jane announced, and Evie grinned widely as she adjusted the hat on her head and turned the country music up that was softly playing in the background.

Mal chuckled as she looked at her best friend. Evie beamed widely and proudly as some ancient country song started to play.

“That’s… Patsy Cline. Right?” Mal questioned, and Evie nodded happily as she started to sing along.

“ _I fall to pieces, each time I see you again! I fall to pieces, how can I be just your friend?_ ” Evie crooned, and Mal couldn’t help but note how similar that Evie sounded to the original singer. It was almost laughable.

“Aw, man, I thought we done dodged that bullet,” Uma whined, referencing Evie’s obsession with singing weird old country music on their trips. After all, Evie had so far only been playing the stuff, and not singing loudly along.

“ _You want me to act like we’ve never kissed! You want me to forget… Pretend we’ve never met!_ ” Evie sang, and Uma looked back at Jade as she shook her head. However, Jane looked suddenly very interested in Evie’s singing as her ears perked up and she stared at the back of the bluenette’s seat.

“ _And I’ve tried, and I’ve tried, but I haven’t yet! You walk by, and I fall to pieces…_ ”

_AWWOOOO!!!!_

Evie stopped abruptly, her eyes widened as she looked completely horrified, and both Uma and Mal cracked up laughing at the look on Evie’s face as a result of Jade’s sudden howling. Audrey started cackling once the initial shock had worn off, taking a moment to stop worrying with dog slobber, and even Jane was giggling. Evie looked over at Mal and back at the other girls in pure shock.

“M, I’m not a bad singer, am I?!” Evie insecurely asked her best friend, and Mal, in the midst of boisterous laughter, leaned over and wrapped an arm around Evie as she rested her head on the bluenette’s shoulder. She shook her head, trying to answer Evie in the midst of her thorough enjoyment.

“Dang, that crap’s so bad that you’ve got the dog back here howling!” Uma wickedly laughed.

“It’s not bad! She’s howling because she’s obviously a Patsy Cline fan. She’s got good taste and is trying to sing along,” Evie expressed nervously, and Audrey just shook her head as she looked at Uma, her grin wide across her face as she snickered.

“Dogs howl when somebody’s dying, too, though, so what does that say about ol’ Patsy?” Uma asked with a loud laugh, and Mal couldn’t help but wheeze along with her. Evie just huffed, scanning her brain for something intelligent to say in reply.

“Well, that’s not even a proven fact. She might just be a Cliner,” Evie responded, trying to sound more confident than she felt. Uma coughed, trying to get ahold of her laughter and she looked at Evie quizzically as a laugh very much affected her voice.

“What’s a Cliner?” Um asked.

“A fan of Patsy Cline,” Evie replied as if it were perfectly obvious.

“I certainly don’t think that Jade’s a recliner,” Uma informed Evie, and Evie shook her head patiently.

“A Cliner, Uma. Jade’s a Cliner.”

“Speak for yourself, Blue. You can be a recliner if you feel like it,” Uma told Evie dismissively, and Evie rolled her eyes, looking at Mal somewhat helplessly. Mal shrugged, calming down from her laughter as she looked at her sister with a slight grin.

Before long, they were at that familiar driveway that they had left not too many months ago but with a different vehicle and a much smaller dog. Evie beamed as she turned to enter it and started down the driveway.

Mal felt a contented smile coming onto her face as she reached down for her cowgirl hat and put it on. She could practically feel the happiness radiating from Evie as a result of her action. It always did mean a ton to Evie when Mal wore her clothes that she made for the faerie.

“Look, Jade, it’s where it all started with you and me. Y’know, like that mouse getting a cookie book,” Uma told the Pyrenees, and almost as if Jade could understand Uma’s words, she leaned forward, her ears perked in excitement as the side of her furry cheek brushed Uma’s.

“She looks hyped,” Audrey noted with a slight smile as she looked between Uma and the dog, and Uma chuckled as she stroked Jade fondly.

“Yeah, she definitely does. Almost as excited as you were when you found out that there was a Justin Beaver album that you hadn’t heard about,” Uma informed, smirking slyly as she waggled an eyebrow at Audrey. Audrey narrowed her eyes.

“Firstly, it’s Justin Bieber. Not beaver. And secondly, I don’t look like Jade at all.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. After all, Jade _is_ absolutely the most gorgeous, cutest thing on the planet,” Uma expressed, and Audrey set her jaw in irritation, trying her best to withhold a verbal response to Uma.

Evie then pulled up to the house, parking Elvira carefully. They all couldn’t help but grin as they spotted Anne and George coming out to meet them. Also, there were two large Great Pyrenees that they easily identified to be Jade’s parents.

The girls wasted no time in getting out of the vehicle and hurrying over to greet the old couple. However, Uma stopped short in favor of helping Jade out of the back of the Jeep. The two older Great Pyrenees came over and followed Uma, and Uma reached over, patting them both affectionately.

The elderly twosome hugged the girls, and Evie grinned widely as her hat was tipped slightly over to the side.

“We’re so glad to have you dears back!” Anne spoke, her voice kind, and Evie felt her heart warm at the sound.

“We’re so glad to be back!” Audrey replied, and Jane nodded wholeheartedly, voicing her agreement with the statement. Uma peeked out from behind Evie’s vehicle, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

“Mmhmm,” Uma hummed suspiciously to herself before continuing to get Jade out.

“Boy, things ain’t been the same since y’all left,” George expressed, his deep voice rough but filled with fondness.

“No donkeys on the loose or wrecked milk sheds?” Mal teasingly questioned, and George groaned as he and Anne released the four.

“No milk shed problems, but that darn donkey _has_ been on the loose,” George grumbled, and Mal laughed as she looked at Evie, nudging the bluenette with an elbow. Evie just smiled patiently as she wrapped an affectionate arm around Mal’s neck, pulling her closer to Evie.

“Now, hang on just a minute. One of y’all is missing… Where’s that girl Uma?” Anne questioned as she looked around for Uma, no doubt aiming to hug her to death as she had the other four.

Very unfortunately for the pirate in question, she managed to look like a complete moron as Jade got loose and ran around the yard, free as could be as she played with her mom and dad. Uma immediately chased her down.

“Jade, get your fluffbutt back over here!” Uma called out as she lunged for the dog. Jade just barely dodged Uma as she ran around the expanse of lawn.

Uma landed on her hands and knees and she took off after the dog. Soon enough, Jade cut too close of a corner around Uma, and Uma managed to grab her.

“Gotcha!” Uma cried as she snapped the lead onto Jade’s collar.

Uma then headed over to the girls, having finally leashed Jade. Jade walked relatively obediently next to Uma, but as soon as she saw the new people, she pulled at the leash hard. Uma was immediately jerked forward, but she swiftly caught herself and held onto the dog with both hands.

“Jade, heel,” Uma firmly asserted, and Jade looked back at Uma, slowing her pulls in order to heed Uma’s command a bit better. However, she was still pulling at the leash just a little.

“Yo, folks,” Uma greeted, tipping her hat that was very much sideways at this moment as a result of her struggle with the dog. She swiftly repositioned it, however, and she grinned somewhat awkwardly as she looked at the two elderly people.

Anne wasted no time in squeezing Uma in a tight hug. Jade sniffed at the old woman’s apron curiously, and Uma awkwardly returned the hug.

“Hey, Miss Anne,” Uma greeted, and Anne pulled away to look at Uma. However, she soon realized that there was a large dog snuffling at her hand. Anne gazed down at Jade, and she smiled sweetly.

“Aww, is this little Jade that we’ve heard so much about?” Anne asked, and George came over to inspect the dog. He kneeled down, looking at her face carefully. He then turned his gaze to Uma.

“Well, you’ve taken real good care of her. You can’t even tell she was the runt,” George acknowledged, and Uma smiled proudly as George stood up. Uma stroked Jade’s head and the dog licked Uma’s hand lovingly.

“Yep. She’s pure muscle,” Uma added, and the old man looked down at the dog with an appreciative nod.

“Table muscle,” Audrey commented, and Uma glared at the pink princess. Audrey shrugged nonchalantly, looking as innocent as she could possibly manage.

“This dog right here’s the most powerful machine that anybody could ever need,” Uma boasted, reaching up under Jade’s belly and patting her. However, almost as if the world wanted to cruelly disprove her point, Uma felt the flabby skin hanging down from the dog.

Of course, she logically knew that it wasn’t fat and was only additional skin for Jade to grow into when she got bigger, but it still didn’t make Uma feel much better since she was working diligently to prove Audrey wrong. And this would make it look like Audrey was right.

And Uma _hated_ for Audrey to think she was right.

So Uma straightened and cleared her throat, figuring she’d see if she could just move past the subject.

“Y’know, absolutely nothing’s changed. It’s still just as beautiful out here as it was when we left,” Mal expressed, and the elderly couple smiled at the young queen.

“Nothing much has changed,” George agreed, and Mal nodded in reply, Evie still close by her.

“Believe it or not, we don’t have near the fun that y’all did,” Anne chuckled, and Uma smirked as she thought of Audrey and Evie’s pig dilemma they had.

“Yeah. Exactly the same,” Evie trailed off, looking around the area of the farm and taking in the beauty of the country. However, she returned her gaze to George and Anne as she realized that there was a certain aspect that was not the same.

“Except for a goose biting my butt. Speaking of, where is---”

_HONK!!!_

“OUCH, ELMER! You little---”

“Language, E,” Mal chided but with a slight smile, and Evie made sure she threw a particularly nasty glare at the goose before looking at Mal somewhat cluelessly.

“I was not going to curse,” Evie told Mal, a bit of a whine in her voice, and Mal nodded.

“I know. I just wanted to say it for once,” Mal laughed, squeezing Evie affectionately. Evie just huffed slightly and returned Mal’s hug lovingly, and the old people shook their heads at the two girls with a slight chuckle.

The two older Great Pyrenees chose that moment to come over to see the other girls. Evie immediately let go of Mal in favor of getting down on her knees and petting the dog lovingly.

“Hi, there, sweeties!” Evie greeted, her voice high-pitched as she greeted the dogs in a silly tone. Mal snorted in reply to the girl, raising an eyebrow.

Jade immediately yanked at Uma’s leash, partially to get attention from Evie and also to try to play with the other dogs. Uma tightened her grip on Jade’s leash, trying to hold her back.

“Woah, girl!” Uma cried, and George shook his head.

“Why don’t you let her off the leash? She’ll hang around. Our dogs always do,” George suggested, and Uma looked at him somewhat skeptically. He nodded encouragingly, and she glanced at Anne for affirmation. She smiled kindly and agreed. Uma then hesitantly let Jade off of her lead.

As soon as she was off the leash, Jade bounded forward, tackling Evie. Evie hit the ground and was soon being slathered by Great Pyrenees tongues.

“Oh, my goodness! Stop, you guys, stop!” Evie cried out, giggling like a nutcase, and Mal couldn’t quite bring herself to help the bluenette. Something about all three of those giant dogs really made the faerie nervous.

“Somebody help!” Evie called between laughs. Uma, realizing that Mal obviously wasn’t about to assist, reached over and shoved through the dogs to help Evie up. Soon enough, Evie was upright once again, and she dusted herself off, trying to remove the dog hair from her clothing. She then stepped over nearby Mal and looked down where she had just been lying on the ground.

“Wow! Talk about a dog pile,” Evie commented, laughing joyfully at her joke. Jane immediately laughed with her, enjoying the pun. Mal just raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed, and Uma looked at Audrey.

After only a moment, Evie sobered and looked at them all with a slight, somewhat sheepish smile on her face.

“It was funny!” Evie expressed, and Jane nodded, giggling a bit. Audrey shrugged before expressing her verdict.

“Good for a dad joke, I guess.”

Mal and Uma immediately cracked up laughing.


	3. Cow-Tipping Calamity

“Oh, loft sweet loft,” Uma spoke aloud once she had gotten to the top of the ladder. She nodded in satisfaction as Audrey materialized next to her, having climbed up the ladder. The pink princess immediately looked at the pirate as if she had lost her mind.

“What?”

“You’re crazy,” Audrey replied with a dismissive hand gesture.

“ _Crazy… I’m crazy for feeling so lonely!_ ” Evie immediately started to sing, and Uma rolled her eyes with a groan as Evie ascended the ladder.

“Great. Now look what you’ve got started,” Uma complained, and Evie shot Uma a slightly disdainful glance as she passed by.

Mal and Jane then came up after Evie, and Uma heard a whine at the base of the ladder. Uma looked down, realizing that Jade was standing there at the bottom and looking up longingly. She put her front paws on the first few rungs and gazed at Uma with sad eyes. Uma immediately felt her heart melt at the sight, but she quickly cleared her throat, trying to dispel those feelings so the other girls wouldn’t catch on.

“It’s alright, baby, I’m sorry. I can’t bring you up here like I used to. You’re too big,” Uma told her, and Jade whimpered pitifully, laying down at the bottom of the ladder and resting her chin on her paws sadly.

Uma sighed deeply, but before she could get too involved in this thought, Audrey immediately began fussing about how dusty the loft was, providing a good distraction for her.

“Seriously! They should clean this before we get here! Does no one value the saying that a clean environment leads to a clean mind?!” Audrey demanded as she blew at the dust, covering her nose as she tried to keep the dust away from her nose. Mal raised an eyebrow, glancing instinctively at Evie for her opinion but Evie seemed just as unknowing as Mal. So Mal then turned her attentions to the faerie.

“Is that really a saying?” Mal asked Jane, and Jane shrugged cluelessly.

“I have no idea,” Jane replied with a slight laugh and a grin.

“Well, it makes me feel better that I’m not out on some Auradon Kid loop or something,” Mal expressed, and Evie chuckled fondly as she started looking through her and Mal’s luggage. At the sound, Mal swung her head around to smile happily at her best friend.

Evie soon withdrew a nightgown, and she then rummaged through Mal’s luggage, pulling out a light tee and some soft sleep-pants.

“Here, M,” Evie offered, holding the pajamas out to the faerie.

“Woah, woah, woah! Y’all hold up on putting on your skivvies. I’ve got this idea!” Uma interrupted suddenly, and they all looked at the pirate. Uma had a wicked smile on her face, and unfortunately for all of them, they knew it most definitely spelled trouble.

“I’ve got a really bad feeling about this, Uma,” Audrey expressed, and Uma suddenly lost all hints of a smile as she looked at the princess. Mal couldn’t help but wonder what Uma was about to do. Quite honestly, everyone was curious about what Uma was about to do.

“What? You got the Peter-Tingle going?” Uma questioned innocently, and Audrey’s eyes went ridiculously wide as she gaped at Uma. The pirate somehow miraculously kept a straight face, wondering if Audrey was going to keep up with Uma’s _Spider-Man: Far From Home_ joke. After all, they had watched it together just the other day.

However, Uma could tell that Evie and Mal hadn’t seen the movie, judging by Evie’s sudden offended gasp and Mal’s sudden maniacal giggling.

“I DO NOT HAVE THE PETER-TINGLE!!!” Audrey screeched, and Uma couldn’t help the smirk on her face in reply to the princess.

“Geez, calm down, Princess,” Uma shot back, and Audrey rolled her eyes, still miffed as she continued in a manner that was only slightly less offended.

“Besides, it was Spidey-Sense!!! Not the Peter-Tingle!”

“It’s the same thing. But anyways, y’all wanna hear my idea?” Uma questioned with a wide grin, and Audrey rolled her eyes, still weirded out by Uma.

“Not particularly,” the pink princess immediately replied.

“Go for it,” Mal said at the same time, and Audrey shot Mal an unappreciative glance. Mal simply chose to ignore the girl, and a wicked smile spread across Uma’s face. Evie just shared an uncertain glance with Jane, and they looked at Uma curiously.

“Alright, so I’m thinking that we should go,” Uma suddenly stopped, and Evie furrowed her brow, looking at the pirate oddly.

“Wait for it,” Uma grinned, keeping them on the edge of their seat, and Audrey scoffed as Uma waited several more moments.

“Cow-tipping,” Uma finally told them. Audrey suddenly groaned loudly, and Mal looked very interested. Evie rolled her eyes slightly with a fond smile, and Jane looked quite confused indeed.

“What’s cow-tipping?” Jane innocently questioned after a minute.

“Oh, it’s when you creep up behind a cow and push it over while it’s sleeping,” Evie explained, and Mal gazed at Evie with a wide grin.

“That sounds awesome!” Mal proclaimed excitedly, her entire expression oozing the thrill of an adrenaline junkie.

“Well, it would be if cow-tipping was actually---” Evie started, but was quickly interrupted before anyone could hear what she had to say.

“Uma, I think you’ve been watching too much of Evie’s country shows,” Audrey huffily announced her thoughts surrounding the subject, and Uma snorted with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Actually, I got the idea from _Cars_. _But_! I think we should go do it,” Uma told the girls, her eyes practically sparkling with the thrill of it all, and Mal nodded wholeheartedly.

“I’m in!” Mal expressed, stepping up beside Evie as she looked at Uma with a wide smile.

“M, cow-tipping isn’t---”

“Are you trying to get us kicked off of the farm?!” Audrey demanded. However, as soon as she said this, she froze, thinking hard about her statement. Her expression then turned to a large smile.

“I love it! You’re a genius!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma, although she didn’t agree with Audrey’s motive of getting off the farm, certainly loved Audrey’s enthusiasm for her idea.

“Great! Let’s go!” Uma called, and Evie sighed, deciding not to bother trying to explain the truth to the girls in favor of letting them figure things out for themselves.

“Oh, no,” Jane mumbled, and Mal and Uma shared a wide smile as they hurried down the ladder with the other girls trailing behind them.

They trailed out through the pasture, and Jade happily followed them along, pleased that Uma was no longer out of the dog’s reach in the pesky loft. They reached the gate to the cow pasture, and Audrey immediately began whining.

“I think we need to go back and get our phones so we have a flashlight,” Audrey proclaimed. “Otherwise, our feet are going to be submerged in cow shidooky!”

“What? You mean like yours were when we were out fishing last time?” Uma asked, fully intending to aggravate, and Audrey’s eyes narrowed as she stood near the gate and Uma started climbing it.

“Besides, Princess, the moon’s out, and you’ll be able to see piles of dung easily,” Uma informed the pink princess as she was halfway over the gate. Audrey raised an eyebrow skeptically, allowing herself a full-body shiver at the thought of the disgusting substance she had gotten on her foot last time.

“And if you can’t,” Uma started before landing on her feet on the other side of the gate, looking at the princess face-to-face with a smirk, “then just reach your foot out and tap the ground before you step.”

Uma then turned and started slowly walking through the pasture, giving the other girls time to climb the gate. Audrey just huffed in irritation, but started to climb alongside Evie. As soon as Evie was on the other side, she reached her hand out, helping Mal over, and then Jane came across once Mal was on the ground.

“Alright, Jade, you guard the gate,” Uma called, and the dog whined, but sat down since she didn’t know how to get through to the cow pasture.

They then headed out through the pasture.

“I think you’re crazy, Uma! How are you supposed to keep from stepping in cow poop?!” Audrey demanded, very much upset about the idea of touching her shoe in the dung even a little bit.

“Like I told you, you just tap with your shoe, and---”

“No, I mean for real!” Audrey whined.

“I just stay behind Evie,” Mal expressed nonchalantly with a mischievous gleam in her eye, and Evie glanced at Mal with a look of playful irritation.

“So that’s all you keep me around for, hmm?”

“Of course! You’re what’s keeping me from dirtying my shoes, E. The barrier to my Auradon, the dam to my river, the---”

“We get it, she’s blocking you from the deep doo-doo,” Audrey grumbled, and Mal shrugged. Evie reached her hand back, trying to tickle Mal’s side as they walked, and Mal dodged skillfully before successfully returning the favor to Evie.

Evie collapsed into giggles immediately, her ticklishness getting the better of her, and Mal hesitantly had mercy on the girl.

They then continued along for quite some time until Uma suddenly stopped the lot of them.

“Wait a minute, y’all! I see cows!” Uma told them, and the girls stopped beside her.

“Cow-tipping, here we come,” Mal proclaimed in a hushed whisper as she grinned widely, her eyes half-lidded.

“Umm… This might be a dumb question, but… How are you going to tip them if they’re lying down?” Jane asked innocently, and Uma furrowed her brow as she looked at the animals. Mal nodded slowly.

“That could present a problem,” Mal acknowledged, and Evie rolled her eyes fondly.

“Guys, cow-tipping is a fallacy---”

“I think we should get out there and see if we can roll one over,” Uma proposed to Mal, and Mal nodded wholeheartedly.

“Let’s do it!” Mal agreed, and the two girls started to creep over to the cow. Evie held her head in her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sighed deeply. She then removed her hand from her face, figuring that she might as well watch the whole thing.

“So… Cow-tipping’s not an actual thing?” Audrey finally asked as the girls were getting closer to the cow.

“Yes,” Evie replied patiently.

“And they’re going to look like a couple of total imbeciles in just a few minutes?” Audrey questioned further, her eyebrow quirked just a bit.

“Pretty much,” Evie agreed. Audrey then suddenly groaned.

“Aw, man! Now I really wish I would’ve brought my phone!” Audrey complained, and Evie shook her head as she watched Uma and Mal.

“Alright, now, we’ll start shoving at the same time. What do you think?” Uma asked, and Mal nodded. However, as soon as they had nearly put their hands on the creature, it raised up its head and stared at them. They both froze as it stood up to look at them better. Uma and Mal shared a glance.

“They aren’t stupid enough to still try to push the thing, are they?” Audrey asked, and Evie sighed, honestly not wanting to share her opinion on that subject.

However, proving Evie’s secret thoughts correct, the two girls started to push against the cow. It laid its ears back, but it stood there for a moment, not budging no matter how hard Mal and Uma shoved.

“Y’know, I honestly don’t know how they think that two tiny-mights are going to push a cow that size,” Evie pointed out, placing a hand on her hip as she shook her head. Audrey narrowed her eyes and looked up at Evie slowly.

“Umm… I’m the same height as Uma,” Audrey pointed out, and Evie gazed over at Audrey, silently taking in Audrey’ height without the heels that she so often wore.

“So you are… So you are,” Evie trailed off somewhat awkwardly, honestly not sure what to say anymore now that Audrey had joined the legion of shorties. Audrey just shook her head, deciding to just watch the two girls attempt to push over the cow.

“C’mon, Bessie! Tip!” Uma cried, sounding quite strained as she shoved hard at the creature. Mal leaned her back against it and started trying to push with her legs as she tried to at least make the cow move a little.

The cow just looked at them for a long moment before suddenly walking away. Mal and Uma, not expecting this, stumbled. Mal ended up falling onto her behind and Uma fell face-first.

“Ouch,” Mal spoke aloud, and Uma lifted herself up with her arms. She narrowed her eyes as she realized that her head had landed dangerously close to a humongous pile of cow poop.

“Dang, that hurt,” Mal muttered, and Uma snapped her head around to look at Mal.

“Hey, look, you ain’t got no room to even start complaining. I landed on my face two inches away from a giant pile of crap!” Uma exclaimed. Mal snorted, unable to keep from laughing at the purely perturbed look on the pirate’s face.

Uma just growled under her breath as she rolled her eyes, raising up and facing the opposite direction that Mal was looking in.

However, Uma suddenly froze as she stared at the positively horrifying creature that was staring at the two of them. Uma swallowed hard as she reached over and tapped Mal’s arm insistently. Mal, still with a giant smirk on her face, looked at the pirate. But she inevitably caught sight of what Uma was looking at. Mal lost all hints of a laugh as she gaped at the creature.

“Girls, there’s a huge bull close to you!” Audrey suddenly called in a whisper-yell, and Uma shared a glance with Mal.

“She’s a regular old Sherlock,” Uma pointed out nervously, and the bull huffed as it stared them down, its head lowered as if it would charge at any minute.

“Okay… Let’s just very slowly get up,” Mal pointed out, and Uma followed along as they very carefully started to get up at the pace of a turtle. So far, the animal didn’t seem as if it was going to make another move thankfully.

They were then both on their feet, and they slowly backed away.

But just as soon as they thought that they were going to be safe, Mal tripped backward a bit. The sudden movement immediately triggered the bull and it made a horrifying noise as it hooved the ground and was about to start charging. Uma and Mal wasted no time in turning and taking off running.

“RUN!!!!” Uma yelled, and the girls all took off running, the bull angrily running behind them.

“UMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!” Audrey screeched as they sprinted in terror.

“NOW IS HARDLY THE TIME TO BE POINTING FINGERS, PRINCESS!!!” Uma screamed in return.

“SPLIT UP!!!” Evie yelled, and the girls all headed in different directions.

They all scrambled around, and the bull mostly stayed behind Uma and Audrey, and Audrey kept up a steady stream of screaming.

For her part, Evie took off running for the gate and wasn’t stopping.

“Evie, wait! Slow down! My legs aren’t as long as yours!!!” Mal called, and Evie practically jumped the gate before stopping and waving Mal over. Jade was barking, her paws up on the gate as she watched Uma and Audrey out in the pasture.

“M, hurry!!!” Evie told the girl. Mal got to the gate quickly, and Evie grabbed her hands, pulling her over it. They both ended up on the grass, breathing hard.

Jane quickly got to the two, and she climbed over the gate swiftly. She then turned to face the field where the remaining girls were running around.

“Audrey! Uma! Over here!” Jane called, and the two rushed over, turning sharply and making a mad dash for the other girls. The bull was a bit slow on the turn, so they were bought some time as they reached the gate.

Audrey started to climb over, and Uma just vaulted over it easily. Audrey almost fell once she was halfway over the thing, and Uma reached out, grabbing the princess’s hand, keeping her from falling.

Audrey then thankfully made it over and they both collapsed on the ground with Mal and Evie. The bull came to a skidding halt next to the gate and just stared the girls down, snorting hard as it glared at them. Jade snarled at it, standing next to Uma protectively. The bull then just strutted back to join the other cattle, and Uma just laid on her back next to Audrey, and Jane came and sat down beside the other four. Jade snuffled at Uma’s cheek, and sat down next to the pirate.

There were several moments of silence, the group just breathing hard as their chests rose and fell swiftly.

“Would this be a good time to mention that cow-tipping isn’t actually a real thing that can be done?” Evie questioned finally, quite a bit breathless, and Uma’s eyes widened as her head whipped around to face Evie.

“What?!!! Why didn’t you say anything?!”


	4. Chicken Run

“Okay, now before we climb down this ladder, what do you each say?” Evie questioned, standing there with her hands on her hips as the other girls just stared at her. Evie had been telling them the whole time that they had been changing from their nightclothes to their everyday wear that they didn’t need to do something as stupid as cow-tipping for the rest of the trip. She had even gone over what each of the girls were supposed to do.

Evie gazed at them expectantly, and Mal naturally cracked first, unable to resist her best friend.

“I will not let Uma talk me into doing something stupid for the rest of this trip,” Mal somewhat begrudgingly spoke, and Evie smiled slightly, her eyes softening significantly as she looked at her best friend lovingly. She then turned a more hardened gaze on the remainder of the girls as Uma’s gaze snapped toward Mal, her eyes conveying her feelings of betrayal.

“What the---?!! That isn’t how it worked!” Uma cried, and Evie just gazed insistently at the lot of them, unrelenting.

“I will not encourage Uma to do something stupid for the rest of this trip,” Audrey finally recited after a few moments, referring to her exact words describing Uma as a genius for trying to get them kicked off of the farm.

“I will not let myself go along with Uma’s something stupid for the rest of this trip,” Jane spoke up, and Evie nodded in satisfaction.

“Now, what do you _all_ say?”

“We will always listen to Evie,” Mal, Audrey, and Jane somewhat begrudgingly monotoned in reply, and Evie puffed up happily. However, she turned her eyes to Uma, trying to coax the pirate into agreeing. Uma finally released an enormous groan before shaking her head.

“Y’all will always listen to Evie,” Uma spoke up. Evie just studied Uma for a long moment, Uma returning her gaze just as intensely but with an almost challenging air surrounding her, and Evie eventually just sighed.

“Close enough,” Evie muttered, and Mal squeezed her arm as she passed her by to climb down the ladder. The rest of the girls followed along, and they headed outside with Jade close behind.

Soon, they were coming into the house, and they all smiled as they saw Anne standing in the kitchen and cooking breakfast. The elderly woman turned to them and smiled happily, the wrinkles around her eyes crinkling especially with her expression.

“Good morning, girls!”

“Good morning, Miss Anne!” Audrey immediately reciprocated and the other girls wished different forms of greeting as they meandered slowly toward the table.

However, unlike the others, Uma immediately plopped down in her seat at the table, looking at the glass of milk placed next to the plates. Uma shrugged, taking a big swig of the drink and licking her lips.

“Y’know, there was a real commotion outside last night. Did y’all hear it?” Anne questioned, and Uma immediately snorted hard, covering her nose and trying to keep from sending the milk out of it as she resisted the urge to laugh. Mal giggled almost maniacally as she looked at the pirate and grinned mischievously. Audrey rolled her eyes, and Jane just looked down at the tablecloth.

For her part, Evie remained dead serious, trying to cover up the fact that something had indeed happened the previous night.

“I wonder what it could’ve been,” Evie spoke with a lack of any emotion, and Uma reached for a napkin, trying to wipe her mouth and nose free of the milk that had come out with her laughter. Mal just grinned as she looked at Evie impishly. Evie didn’t even glance at Mal, and the faerie smiled widely as she leaned against Evie heavily, simultaneously attempting to aggravate her and get closer with her.

“I don’t know. It sure is strange, isn’t it?” Anne wondered aloud as she checked her frying pan nearby. She then seemed to shake herself from this thought as she looked at the pink princess. Audrey resisted the urge to wince, just knowing what was coming next.

“But anyways, Audrey, could you be a dear and go fetch the eggs?” Anne asked kindly, and Audrey nodded somewhat resignedly as she got up. She could feel Uma’s mirthful, smug eyes on her, and she set her jaw slightly in mild irritation.

“Of course. I’ll be right back,” Audrey expressed before heading out the door. She then set off across the yard to the chicken pen.

“Remember, Audrey, if there’s a snake, turn and run, and if there’s a chicken with babies,” Audrey allowed herself a moment to pause and consider this thought before shuddering with the memory of her situation with the mother hen flogging her. “Make sure not to mess with the chickies…”

Audrey walked along the side of that dreadful building before finding herself next to the chain-link fencing. There before her was an enormous rooster, glaring up at her as if he were just waiting on her arrival. Audrey swallowed, realizing how ridiculously close he was to the fence.

However, it took her only a moment to realize that this was not the same rooster from before. Audrey swallowed hard, trying to resist the urge to flee. This rooster actually looked meaner than the one that had been there last time. This one was scratching at the ground a bit and looking up at Audrey evilly. Audrey stepped back a bit, taking a deep breath.

Audrey looked around nervously, knowing that she couldn’t come into the fence with this bird. Her gaze shifted about, trying to find some way that she could possibly defend herself when she went inside the pen. It was then that her eyes rested upon Jade snuffling at the grass nearby.

It was perfect. Audrey would call Jade over to the chicken fence, and she’d bark at the chickens, hopefully distracting them while Audrey snuck in and gathered the eggs.

So, Audrey grinned widely at the sight of the dog, and she patted her leg in encouragement, trying to get Jade’s attention.

“Jadey! Jadey! Come here, girlie!” Audrey called, her voice high-pitched and as sweet as she could make herself sound. The Pyrenees looked up at her curiously, eyeing her strangely, and Audrey called her some more.

“Jadey! Come here, baby!” Audrey attempted to coax, and Jade’s tail wagged slightly as she just stood there watching Audrey. Audrey held back the urge to growl under her breath. Any other time, Jade would have been dying to come over and bother Audrey. The one time that Audrey actually wanted the dog to come was when it chose not to.

“Jadey! Why are you being a silly willy?! Come over here to Auntie Audrey!” Audrey sweet-talked the dog, and after a long moment, Jade started to very slowly amble over to the pink princess, wagging her tail amiably.

“There you go! Who’s a good girl?! Come here, Jadey!” Audrey called her, bending down and patting her knees. Jade finally made it over, and Audrey patted her, internally screaming a bit with the disgustingly dusty texture covering the dog’s soft coat.

“Now, Jade, you be a good girl, and when Auntie Audrey goes in here with these treacherous fowl, you bark really big and mean, okay? That’s a good girl!” Audrey praised, and Jade just wagged a bit before the rooster suddenly made an aggressive clucking noise. Jade looked at the creature and as soon as her gaze rested on it, her eyes were locked on its every move.

Audrey stood back up, reaching for the entrance to the gate, and she opened it carefully, sliding through the crack between the fencepost and the gate.

However, before she knew it, the dog suddenly shoved past her and inside the chicken pen, darting in and chasing the chickens all around the chicken pen.

The rooster made a loud, terrified sound of alarm as he took off running away from the dog. Jade was loudly barking, tearing across the fenced-in area and the chickens were scattering all about. Audrey’s eyes were wide as she gaped at the entire situation unfolding before her.

“Jade, NO!!!” Audrey finally mustered, trying to make the dog stop. Jade romped around the edge of the fencing, and Audrey immediately started to scream as the chickens all started to fly around her as Jade passed by.

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

“AUDREY?!!!” Uma’s voice met Audrey’s ears, and the pink princess soon felt Uma shoving her way through the gate so that she was standing next to Audrey.

“What’s going on?!” Evie yelled in bewilderment, and Mal shouted something in reply, and Audrey barely opened her eyes to look at everyone that had come out to see the situation.

Uma quickly deserted Audrey in favor of chasing after Jade and lunging for the dog. She just barely managed to grab onto her collar, and Uma tried to hang onto Jade and keep her held down in any way that the pirate could muster.

“Jade, dangit, stop!!!” Uma cried, clinging onto Jade. Jade slowed down just a bit, but she kept walking while carrying Uma on her back.

As soon as Mal, Evie, and Jane came into the chicken pen, Evie bent down, calling Jade over so that she could grab her collar with Uma.

“Come here, Jade!” Evie beckoned, and Jade came trotting over.

“Woah! Stop!” Uma yelped as she hung onto Jade tightly in an attempt to avoid falling off of her back. Mal snorted at the sight, surreptitiously pulling out her phone and taking a photo of the scene before her. As soon as Jade stopped in front of Evie, Mal shoved her phone into her pocket.

Uma slid off of the dog and grabbed her collar firmly, stooping on the ground so that she was at least a little more braced against the force of Jade’s movement. Mal snickered quietly, trying to keep her laughs to herself, and Uma narrowed her eyes, looking up at the faerie.

“Don’t think I missed that, Dragon Breath,” Uma raised an eyebrow in warning, and Mal just grinned mischievously.

However, before they could further engage in this conversation, Jane suddenly gasped as she looked and pointed at the corner of the fence.

“Oh, my gosh, Jade killed a chicken!!!” Everyone followed Jane’s pointed finger to see the chicken lying there on the ground in a small mound of ruffled feathers. Uma furrowed her brow, turning around to look at the sight.

Her eyes widened as soon as she spotted the fallen bird, and she shook her head adamantly.

“What the--- Jade didn’t kill no chicken! She’s innocent!” Uma proclaimed, and Audrey crossed her arms over her chest and backed away just a little, trying to overcome the intense fear that she had just endured as a result of Jade and the chicken episode.

“What’s going on out here?” George called, coming up to the gate of the fence and looking at them all with concern etched into the wrinkles of his face as he surveyed the group.

“Jade got into the chicken lot and she killed a chicken!” Jane explained, her bright blue eyes wide with surprise. George scanned the area and quickly spotted the downed chicken. He then slid through the gate and headed over to the animal.

“But it just doesn’t make sense… How did the dog get into the chicken pen?” Mal asked, looking at Evie, and Evie furrowed her brow in thought, reaching down and rubbing Jade’s ears affectionately.

“Y’know, that’s a really good question. How _did_ Jade get into the chicken pen?” Uma asked, looking up at Audrey with an eyebrow raised.

Audrey immediately froze as all of the girls turned their attentions to her. Audrey opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it, trying to think this through and figure out a way to explain this without making herself look quite so guilty.

“Well, it’s a funny story… I was by the gate here and I went in and Jade saw this really mean rooster, so she charged in when I was coming in and what do you know?! She got in the chicken pen!” Audrey proclaimed, finally settling for telling only part of the truth. Uma just looked at Audrey for a long time, her eyes very much conveying her skepticism, but she finally let it go in favor of looking worriedly between Jade and George.

“Okay, y’all, one thing’s for sure,” George finally spoke up, and the girls gazed at him as he stood up with the chicken in his grasp.

“Your dog didn’t kill this chicken,” he declared.

“I told y’all she was innocent!” Uma proudly exclaimed, largely directing her statement to Jane in particular. Jane shrunk underneath her accusing gaze, looking down at the ground guiltily.

“How do you know it wasn’t her?” Mal asked curiously, tilting her head a bit in curiosity.

“The thing was stuck partially through the fence, so it shows that something must have drug it out. Plus, that dog don’t have a taste for blood, so she probably wouldn’t have gone after one of the chickens with the intent to eat it. The creature that got this chicken was gnawing on it,” George pointed to different parts of the chicken, explaining his theory.

“So what do you think it was?” Evie finally questioned, furrowing her brow as she looked at the old man worriedly. George sighed a bit, raising his eyebrows and moving his head a bit with the gesture.

“My guess is that it’s a coyote.” The girls all looked at one another with mixed reactions. Mal’s was something similar to mild interest, Uma’s was primarily focused around a sense of relief, Jane’s was extreme terror, Audrey’s was fearful as well, and Evie appeared as if she were deeply interested.

However, George suddenly got a grin on his face as he pointed at them.

“And in that case, y’all are gonna need to learn to defend yourselves.”


End file.
